As your parents age, their sense of humor and level of sensitivity may change. So you should start thinking more carefully about what you say and how you treat them. Take a look at these 12 things you should never say to your aging parents unless you want to be completely cut out of their will.
Note: The content of this article does not reflect the Writer's personal beliefs.
“After You Die…”
Do not tell your parents that you are planning things based on their death. It implies that they are not a valuable part of your life. It also makes it sound like you are looking forward to their death. This is just an all-around awful thing to say.
“You’re Too Old For That”
Age is just a number! Your parents may be very capable of doing anything a “young person” can do. Don’t tell them that they cannot do something simply because they are old.
“I’ve Heard This Story Before”
Your parents probably have a few stories that they like to tell over and over. Just let them tell their stories without interruption. They are simply remembering and sharing important moments from their long life. There is no harm in hearing the same story again and again.
“Be Careful!”
Do not start parenting your parent. When you start telling them to “be careful”, you are really saying that they do not understand the dangers of the world. They have been alive a lot longer than you! They know how to survive and be cautious.
“Once the Body Goes, The Mind Follows”
This phrase implies that your parents already have physical issues due to age, and soon they will also have memory issues to top it all off. Plenty of people live their entire lives without ever having a physical ailment or memory problem. Hopefully, your parents will be one of the lucky ones! Do not scare them into thinking otherwise.
“Am I In Your Will?”
Saying this to your parents makes it seem like you would rather have their physical belongings and their money rather than have them alive. It also reminds them that they are getting closer to death. You should probably just never mention death at all to an elderly parent.
“You Look So Cute!”
We admit that the elderly can look cute. But describing them as “cute” is never appreciated. Elderly people would rather be called handsome, beautiful, or elegant. Stay away from “cute”.
“I Know Better Than You”
Your parents have probably said this to you in the past, especially when you were a child. However, you cannot say it to them. Ever. Your parents are always your elders and they will always know best. Okay, maybe not always. But it makes them happy to think that they do.
Yelling
Yelling anything to an elderly person is rude. Not all old people are deaf or hard of hearing. Immediately raising the volume of your voice when speaking to your elderly parents is not necessary. They can probably hear you just fine.
“Get Some Rest”
Old people don’t need to be told when to rest. They are not children. If they are tired, they will sleep. If they are ready to go for a 5-mile hike, let them. Your elderly parents know how their body feels and they can make their own decisions about when to rest and when to go, go, go!
“Can I Borrow Money”
If your parents are considered elderly, then that means you are old too. It definitely means you are old enough to make your own money. Stop relying on your parents for cash and never, ever ask them for money.
“Why Don’t You Remember?”
Do not criticize your elderly parents for not remembering something. It may not be their fault that they cannot remember. The brain starts to falter as you age and that is likely out of their control. Don’t point out this issue, just try to work around it.
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This article was first published at Spatula Desserts.
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