Working as a server isn’t just about taking orders, but reading the room and setting the tone in a matter of seconds. Having to think quickly on your feet to keep everyone in a good mood is an artform in itself, and having a few go-to jokes to fall back on is never a bad idea.
The question
In a recent Reddit thread, it was asked, "What are some go-to jokes you guys have up your sleeve when talking to your tables?" The poster went on to say that he's been out of the game for a while and started a new server job a few months ago, and is trying to up their game with new jokes.
The comment section quickly gathered over 100 comments and jokes.
The responses
Here are 15 of the funniest and wittiest jokes and responses that servers have used to break the ice or make the table laugh.
#1: When setting down a hot plate, “be careful, this plate is really hot,” and then when setting down the next dish, “this one isn’t hot but has a great personality,” it usually gets a chuckle.
#2: Whenever a table is towards the end of dinner, as they are eating dessert or their last course, make the joke, “Is there anything else I can get you tonight? Coffee, after-dinner drink, tequila shot?"
#3: Whenever you ask if they need anything else and they say "a million dollars", respond with "I actually charge a dollar every time I hear that, and I'm close to being a millionaire!"
#4: If they say, “It’s on the house, right?” I say, “That’s only on Fridays” (or whatever day came directly before whatever day it currently is)
#5: When asking about any allergies to be aware of, and people say ‘not that I know of’, follow with a ‘perfect, we can find out together then’, and that always gets a good response.
#6: Whenever someone asks for an extra sauce, etc., I always nod and say: “I know a guy.”
#7: Sometimes I get people self-conscious about what they order for whatever reason; carbs with carbs or alcohol early in the morning, or two entrees, or whatever. I always say, "I'm not here to judge, just here to take your order," and that always gets a laugh.
#8: If someone orders a domestic beer and someone else orders a water, I say “Two waters? Anything else?”
#9: People ask for the dessert menu, and I pull one out of my apron and say, “I keep that thang on me.”
#10: If there’s a young kid at the table, I’ll hand them the check and say, “I believe this one’s for you.” Everyone loves this, and it leaves a good last impression before they pay.
#11: When I bring a really full drink out, I usually say, “You should have seen it before I took a sip,” or “I took a sip, it helps steady my hand.”
#12: When a plate is cleaned, I come up and say, "Oh, you hated that. Just terrible."
#13: What'd the ocean say to the house on the beach? Nothing, it just waaaaved. (waving gesture)
#14: Whenever I bring one of our bottles of water for the guests to self-pour from, I always say, “A bottle of white, on the house”.
#15. When someone asks me to make a modification to a special that I know the chef will say no to, I always say, I will do my best and ask the chef but he has big knives back there.
The art of telling jokes that land
Telling jokes at a table is less about being funny and more about being observant. What lands with one person might fall flat with another, so reading the room is everything. A server can usually tell within the first few seconds how much interaction people want.
The jokes that work best in a restaurant are usually quick and situational. They come from what’s happening at the table rather than from something rehearsed, which makes them feel natural and not forced. Timing matters just as much as delivery. Dropping a comment while delivering drinks or clearing plates works better than stopping service to “tell a joke.” Knowing when to pull back is part of the art, too. When a joke lands, it makes the interaction feel special without distracting from the task at hand.
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