Some meals fit into your day, and some meals take it over. The kind you plan around without realizing it until you’re halfway through and already thinking about a nap.
That’s exactly the lane Jim Gaffigan stepped into during a recent interview, where he turned a simple question into a very real conversation about sandwiches that don’t just satisfy you. They end your day's productivity.
During a recent appearance on The Late Show with Stephen Colbert, Jim Gaffigan took a seat for the Colbert Questionnaire, a rapid-fire segment designed to reveal a guest’s personal preferences. Most of the questions move quickly, but one stood out: his favorite sandwich.
Gaffigan didn’t hesitate, but he did add a bit of context first. “Some of this has to do with what you have to do after the said sandwich,” he said, getting an immediate laugh from the audience. It was a small setup that turned into a surprisingly relatable take.
If the day is wide open, he said his top choice is a classic pastrami sandwich from Katz's Delicatessen, a pick that feels hard to argue with. Then he added that if you’re in Chicago with nothing on your schedule, he’d go for an Italian beef from Mr. Beef or Lou Malnati's.
When it comes to how he orders his hot beef, he kept it simple: “Hot peppers.” He also pointed out the obvious. It's messy, but that’s part of the appeal.
Colbert followed up with a practical twist, asking what happens if you actually do have plans after eating one of these sandwiches. That’s when Gaffigan started to explain the tradeoff, noting, “The problem is that no one’s ever eaten a pastrami sandwich and done anything." He said you have a pastrami sandwich, and then you're like, "Goodbye."
My Katz’s pastrami experience
A pastrami sandwich from Katz’s Deli isn’t just lunch. It’s an event.
The deli is known for its hand-carved pastrami, stacked high on rye bread with a swipe of mustard. The meat is sliced thick enough that each bite feels substantial. It’s simple on paper, but in reality, it’s massive.
And then there’s the ticket process. You don’t just walk in and order a sandwich. It's busy, and you have to grab a ticket and wait. It’s part of the experience, whether you’re ready for it or not.
I’ve actually eaten this sandwich a few times, and Gaffigan is completely right. This is an eat-and-done kind of meal. Between the wait for the ticket, the portion size, and how rich it is, your day basically peaks right there. It’s so filling and so good that nothing after it really stands a chance.
You’re not going back to errands. You’re not scheduling anything ambitious. You’re just sitting there, fully aware you made the right decision.
Chicago’s Italian beef
If Katz’s is all about stacked simplicity, Chicago’s Italian beef is about controlled chaos.
At spots like Mr. Beef, the sandwich starts with thinly sliced roast beef soaked in seasoned jus, piled into a long roll, and often dipped again before serving. The result is juicy, flavorful, and almost impossible to eat neatly.
It’s messy by design. The kind of sandwich that drips, falls apart slightly, and forces you to lean in and commit. Much like the pastrami, it’s not something you casually squeeze into a busy afternoon.
Where Lou Malnati’s fits in
Gaffigan also mentioned Lou Malnatis, which might seem like an unexpected addition if you’re strictly thinking of sandwiches.
While the restaurant is best known for deep-dish pizza, they also serve hearty Italian beef sandwiches that follow the same Chicago mindset: big, rich, and not meant to be rushed.
Like the classic Italian beef, these sandwiches often lean into bold flavors and generous portions. You can top it with spicy hot peppers and even dip it for the biggest and messiest bites ever. It can easily turn into the main event of your day rather than just a quick meal.
What makes Gaffigan’s answer land isn’t just the sandwiches themselves. It’s the logic behind them.
Some foods are quick and forgettable. Others demand your full attention, from the wait in line to the last bite. These sandwiches fall firmly into that second category.
They’re not just about taste. They’re about timing, appetite, and accepting that once you commit, your day is going to revolve around that decision.
And honestly, that might be the best kind of meal.
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