Restaurant workers share what dining etiquette has gone downhill over the years

Dining out used to come with a shared understanding of basic courtesy. Over time, many of those unwritten rules have quietly eroded. In a recent discussion, restaurant workers reflected on the small but frequent behaviors that now disrupt service, slow down kitchens, and create tension on the floor.

The question

In a recent Reddit post, it was asked, "What's a basic form of restaurant etiquette that has gone downhill?" The poster went on to clarify that they're wondering what other people have noticed that should be basic manners or knowledge that they just don't see anymore in the service industry. They added one of their own: when people let their kids run around and bother other tables.

Hundreds of people in this line of work chimed in with things that irked them from customers.

The responses

You'll find a wide range of responses to the challenges servers, hosts, and restaurant workers face daily.

One person said, "Being on the phone or FaceTime when a server is trying to communicate."

This is just plain rude. How people go into a restaurant, sit down, and think they can't take the time to put their phones away to order is beyond comprehension. Not only is it rude to the waiter, but it's rude to those sitting around them, because they have to hear the conversation when they're just trying to enjoy their meal.

Plain and simple. "Please and Thank you."

It's amazing how many people don't say these words. It's simple etiquette that everyone learned as a child, but sadly, many adults forget to include it in their daily vocabulary.

Another poster said, "Bringing food and beverages from a completely different restaurant and/or bypassing the host and seating themselves."

There are actually a lot of restaurants that have rules saying no outside food or drink is allowed. This completely handles that issue, so there is no drama. In terms of bypassing the host, maybe putting a larger sign or a big hosting station would help. It would ensure that customers see they need to be seated by someone other than themselves.

This one has to be frustrating. "Please don't mumble and/or whisper your order."

Trying to hear and take down an order correctly from someone who is mumbling is hard, and that's without even factoring in all the noise going on around the space.

One person had a long list of things. "Blowing your nose at the table, not pushing in your chair, letting your kids scream and cry and not removing them from the dining room, not saying hello, hi or good morning back, letting your kids destroy the table condiments as if they don’t cost money, yelling across the dining room to get the servers attention."

These are all valid and would all be frustrating. Pushing in chairs seems like a common courtesy, but it's also so trivial that people often forget to do it as they get up to pay the bill or leave. Kids shouldn't be allowed to just scream in a restaurant. Parents should be able to remove them to allow them to calm down. The other items mentioned are equally frustrating, and given this person's long, detailed list, it's highly likely they deal with these things all the time.

"Vaping everywhere." Seriously?

Some places have no vaping signs up right next to the no-smoking signs, but to think that people just openly vape in a restaurant setting seems crazy. It's still emitting a smell and a bit of smoke, so anyone sitting nearby would be able to smell it.

Another person commented, "When people order while chewing."

If the restaurant offers free chips or bread on the table before ordering, there's a high probability that some eaters and snackers will order while chewing.

Another person had a shorter list. "Talking on phone, not listening to server, using loud voices or listening to content on speaker."

Putting a phone on speaker is such a crazy assumption. No one else wants to hear the conversation, especially in a restaurant setting.

The takeaway

Looking at all the responses together, a clear pattern shows up. Most of these issues aren’t about strict rules or unrealistic expectations. They come down to awareness and consideration in a shared space. Restaurants rely on a basic level of courtesy to work smoothly, and when that’s missing, it affects everyone.

Many complaints center on distractions. Phones and side conversations divert attention from people trying to do their jobs. Add mumbling orders or ignoring greetings, and simple interactions become harder than they need to be.

Parents also came up often, not because kids are the problem, but because unchecked behavior spills into other tables. Running or destroying items puts people in uncomfortable positions and disrupts the room.

In the end, it all points back to basic manners. Saying please and thank you and remembering that restaurants are shared spaces go a long way. When people bring that awareness back to the table, the experience improves for everyone.