The Story
The man explained that he went out with his wife, sister-in-law (SIL), her boyfriend, and a friend to try Korean BBQ for the first time. For those unfamiliar, Korean BBQ is a communal dining experience where raw marinated meats and vegetables are served, and diners cook them on a grill in the middle of the table. Instead of eating individual dishes, menu items are often shared from a single menu.
According to him, the evening quickly soured when his sister-in-law grabbed the menu and ordered for the entire table without consulting anyone else about their preferences. She justified it by saying she eats Korean BBQ all the time and knows what’s good.
The man admitted it rubbed him the wrong way. “I wish she had said something like, ‘hey, does anyone have anything they like they want to order? I come here a lot and have some suggestions,’” he wrote. “She just took the menu and ordered.”
Although he emphasized he wasn’t being picky and would eat most things, he said the issue wasn’t the food itself, but the way she dismissed everyone else’s input. “The problem I had was that she just decided what everyone was gonna eat without checking with them,” he explained.
But Reddit readers were quick to weigh in, and most were not shy about expressing their opinions.
How Reddit Users Reacted
The first wave of responses was blunt, suggesting the man was overthinking the situation.
“It’s not unusual for one person to place the order at Korean BBQ,” one person said. “Sounds like you didn’t speak up about this at all. Maybe try asking for extra time with the menu next time, like a functioning adult would do.”
Others went further, saying his behavior sounded childish:
“I feel this is like going to a restaurant that serves raclette and asking the waiter if they have something else because you don’t like cheese." But he does not stop here and goes full in: “It's 2025, I am a Google search away from being able to tell what is Paul McCartney's favorite colour, and you can't Google search Korean BBQ?
Some explained that the dining format makes the complaint seem misplaced:
“This is funny because it’s not like there’s a lot of selection at Korean BBQ. You’re really just ordering different cuts of meat to grill. That’s why they don’t give everyone a menu.”
Meanwhile, others felt he didn’t want to admit he was a picky eater:
“Are you upset you couldn’t eat everything? Then just take what suits you. But no, here you are on Reddit telling everyone you’re a manchild no adult would want to take out for dinner.”
As the man tries to defend himself in replies, saying “I’m not THAT picky,” commenters doubled down. One accused him of being controlling: “You sound like a control freak. Get over it and stop making it all about you.”
Like most commenters, this person was questioning why the man did not communicate on the spot: "I think it's a social norm to check with the table, but it's also a social norm to communicate, which you didn't do."
The Culture of Shared Meals
Part of the tension in this story comes from the culture of shared meals themselves. In many traditions, from Korean BBQ to tapas in Spain or hot pot in China, ordering is meant to be a group activity, with everyone contributing preferences before the food arrives. That’s very different from the Western expectation of individual dishes, where each diner controls their own plate.
When those expectations collide, misunderstandings can happen, especially if one person assumes authority without asking.
What Can We Learn From This Story
As one person mentioned, "I think this is mildly annoying, but life is all about going with the flow and learning to get along with people."
In communal dining settings like Korean BBQ, it’s perfectly normal for one experienced diner to take the lead on ordering. If you’re comfortable letting someone else decide, that’s completely fine, especially if you’re unfamiliar with the food or the restaurant. Still, it’s better to ask a question or make your preferences clear so everyone feels included.
Clear communication goes a long way, since silence can easily be taken as agreement. And as a person pointed out, the way you respond matters too: coming across as defensive or self-centered can shift sympathy away from you, even if your concern was valid. Ultimately, the more typical response would have been to politely speak up at the table instead of remaining quiet and venting online afterward.
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