Dining out should be enjoyable for everyone—including the people serving you. While most customers mean well, some habits can turn an ordinary meal into a frustrating experience for restaurant staff. If you want to be the kind of guest that servers appreciate (and not secretly roll their eyes at), there are a few things you should avoid. These are the behaviors that can make staff’s jobs harder and the atmosphere less pleasant for everyone. A little awareness goes a long way toward a better meal—for both sides of the table.
Asking for Discounts
Asking for a discount at a restaurant might seem harmless, but it often puts staff in an awkward position. In most cases, servers don’t have the authority to lower prices, and haggling over a meal just comes off as disrespectful. This isn’t a flea market. It’s someone’s workplace, and the prices are there for a reason. While it may be common in some cultures, in many places, it can seem pushy or even entitled. If you can’t afford what’s on the menu, it’s better to choose something within your budget than to argue over the bill.
Phone-Addicts
Nothing is worse than someone trying to order while speaking on the phone. There's no way around it. Our brains don't do well when multitasking. This behavior can be so infuriating that some restaurants refuse to serve clients who don't hang up the phone.
Fingers Snap
Snapping your fingers to get a server’s attention might get you noticed, but not in a good way. It’s dismissive and rude and makes the server feel more like a servant than a professional. Most restaurant staff are doing their best to keep up, and a little patience goes a long way. A simple glance or polite “excuse me” is all it takes. No one likes to feel disrespected, especially in the middle of a busy shift.
Are You Still Open?
If the lights are off, the music is not playing, and you're the only customer there, yes, it's closed! There is no need to get inside and ask the few employees left, who are just trying to finish cleaning for the day, whether they are still open.
Kids
Until 1995, pubs in England and Wales prohibited kids under 14. Things have quickly changed, and now children can enter most places, but should they? We all hate kids running around, shouting at people, and throwing food all over the place. If these are your children, be the adult and take them home.
Not Knowing What to Order
They spend three hours staring at their menus, yet when you ask them what they want to order, they must check again. It's just one dish. Is it so difficult to remember its name? Waiters are often in a rush, so make sure you remember the name of your dish.
No Sense of Urgency
Some people genuinely don't realize when a restaurant is packed with clients. You'll always find that client whose only purpose for the night is to tell you about his latest cruise to the Caribbean or his daughter's wedding while everyone is rushing around him.
The Menu Modifier
We all know the type of customer who turns every dish into a DIY project. They ask for the sauce on the side, no onions, gluten-free bread, extra cheese, and a different side altogether. By the time they’re done, the dish barely resembles what’s on the menu. And when it doesn’t come out exactly right, they act like it’s the restaurant’s fault. A few adjustments are fine, but turning dinner into a full-blown negotiation rarely ends well.
The Last-Minute Ones
Placing an order just minutes before the kitchen closes might seem harmless, but it's one of the quickest ways to frustrate the staff. The team is likely already cleaning up, prepping for the next day, and mentally checking out after a long shift. A last-minute order means they have to fire everything back up and stay late, often without extra pay. It's always more respectful to check the hours ahead of time and avoid showing up just before closing. If you're cutting it close, it's probably best to save that meal for another day.
Are You Really From…?
Just because I work in a French restaurant, it doesn't mean that I have to be French by law. We live in a multicultural world. If you're looking for the most authentic French experience, you should go to France.
Rudeness
So many people tend to treat their waiter as their server. Please don't be one of them. Tip well and always be respectful, even if you don't like the food. Remember, this is not your waiter's fault. There is no need to get angry at him.
Leaving a Mess
Just because someone will clean your table doesn't mean you can leave a complete mess. Dressings are not there for you to write funny sentences on your table, and while a bit of spilling is okay if your tray is now a pile of trash, take care of it yourself.
Table Hogs
Once your meal is over and you are no longer ordering food, it is time to pay your bill, get up, and leave. Sitting around at the table long after you have eaten is very aggravating for the restaurant staff. They likely need that table for the next guests, and you are hogging it! Not only will this annoy servers, but it can also cost them money since they cannot get the next batch of people to sit, eat, and pay. Once you are done with your meal, it is time to leave.
Ask For the Chef
Asking to speak to the chef might seem like a compliment or a complaint, but it often creates more stress than it's worth. Chefs usually juggle multiple orders, manage the kitchen, and work under severe pressure. Pulling them away from that to chat disrupts the flow and slows things down for everyone else. Unless it's a special occasion or the chef is already making rounds, you can pass your praise or feedback through your server. It best shows respect for their time and the experience of other diners.
This article was first published at Spatula Desserts.
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