A small habit has turned into a bigger family dispute. A recent Reddit thread asked, "Am I in the wrong for locking up my snacks so my family can’t take them without asking?" He went on to say he lives at home and buys his own snacks with his internship allowance. If the snacks are left in the kitchen, they get eaten, so he keeps them in his room. Even doing so, his parents and younger sibling still come into his room and take his snacks without asking.
He's asked them to stop and at least ask first, but they laugh it off and tell him it's not a big deal. After it happened repeatedly, he bought a lockbox and locked up his snacks.
His family says he's selfish for doing this and mean for refusing to share. He said that he doesn't mind sharing if people ask, but he doesn't like his snacks being eaten without permission. He's wondering if he's in the wrong with his line of thinking. The internet came in quickly, with varied comments.
The reactions
Most of the comments said he wasn't in the wrong, but a couple disagreed.
One person said, "Sharing is the conscious decision to bring your snacks to someone else. Theft is someone else's conscious decision to take your snacks without your knowledge or consent."
True. If his family knew he didn't want to share, taking the snacks would be stealing, especially since he'd moved them from the kitchen to his room. If that isn't a clue, they're blatantly overlooking.
Another comment said, "I'm a mom and I hide snacks for myself. I get mad when they get stolen lol. Sometimes after a long day I just want to enjoy a treat at night by myself, and if I go to find it missing, it ruins my whole mood."
Any parent can probably relate to this. Kids are known for grabbing food and eating it, but grown-ups should know better.
This comment laid it out there. "You aren't going to make them happy except by giving in and endlessly supplying them with free snacks." Precisely. His family wants snacks for free. They won't agree with him until he decides to share.
Then there was this factual statement. "I'd get a lock for your room as well."
It's not a bad idea. If they're offended by looking at the lockbox, he could always get a lock on his door so that they don't even get that far into his room. It might be an issue, though it's not his house.
Another comment said, "And if I were you, I'd buy some gluten-free, sugar-free, fat-free, no salt snacks, you know stuff that tastes like cardboard, leave them out as a decoy, and tell them I'm trying to eat healthier."
This would be such a passive-aggressive way to handle the issue, plus it would cost a lot of extra money just to prove this point.
One person said, "This isn't normal, family stealing your snacks and not asking, or at the very least not replacing." It's not normal. They're not respecting his wishes or boundaries, and are validating what they're doing by blaming him.
Here's a thought. "Tell your family the store is public and they can go buy their own snacks anytime." They can. They can all walk right out the door and head to the store to buy whatever snacks they want.
One person actually thought he was in the wrong. "I’m sure you eat the food they bought without asking, use the hot water they pay for without asking, and use up any other resources."
These are valid points. He doesn't mention whether he's paying rent or any other expenses while living there, but it's worth considering when filing a complaint.
Last, but not least. "Family can be your biggest enemy. Their entitlement is disgraceful." Family is supposed to be the people you trust. Sadly, he has to lock up the snacks that he paid for just because they refuse to listen to or accept his wishes.
Setting boundaries with family without turning it into a fight
Conflicts like this often aren’t really about snacks or even sharing. They’re about expectations and respect. In many families, shared space can blur the line between what belongs to everyone and what belongs to one person, especially when adult children are still living at home.
Clear boundaries work best when they are communicated calmly and consistently. Instead of focusing on the item itself, it can help to explain the reason behind the boundary, such as wanting basic courtesy or acknowledgment before something is taken. Framing it as a respect issue rather than a possession issue can reduce defensiveness.
It’s also important to recognize that boundaries are not punishments. Locking something up is often a last resort after repeated requests have been ignored. When family members dismiss those requests as “not a big deal,” it can erode trust and lead to stronger measures.
Healthy family dynamics depend on mutual respect. Wanting your belongings left alone unless you give permission is a reasonable expectation, not a sign of selfishness.
When repeated requests are brushed aside, frustration is a natural response. Setting firmer boundaries does not automatically make someone selfish, especially when those boundaries come after multiple attempts to handle the issue calmly.
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